FINALLY. Finally, finally, finally! I have made the time. Mantra of the year: “Make the time.” Well, one mantra among many. Giving myself grace, that’s another…I’ve got a whole slew of them since I’ve turned 40. I’ve vowed to make it a transformational year, although I always knew it would be.
See, most of my blogs over the past two years have started with “Hellooooo, I’m baaAAAck” or some other version of acknowledging “yeah, I know I blogged for a minute and just couldn’t commit.” And well, I’m sick of it. This makes me feel horrible on so many levels. It just makes me feel shitty (sorry Mom). But it does. It makes me feel like I failed, like I couldn’t commit, like I don’t have will power-you name it. It just doesn’t feel good to have not followed through with something. And it’s a glaring reminder that I have had a lack of commitment-but only to myself. I didn’t set out to be a blogger, some kind influencer, or whatever the kids are calling it these days, but I didn’t set out to fail either. I love to write and I want to write. It’s cathartic and I have a lot on my mind. I want to write about my career: design + wellness. I want to write about my life + my passions. And I want to share in a way that connects with others. On a regular basis. Honestly, this is going to be a challenge. But a challenge I want to succeed at. Even if just for me. Especially at this transitional moment in my life.
As I approached 40 I started to think about what I’ve accomplished so far, what I have yet to tackle, and what is still important to me. I am proud of most things I’ve done, but I have a lot of habits I’d like to see changed, mental blocks I’d like to overcome, and begin to approach life unlike I have been able to before. My kids just graduated from high school, I am heading full force into my career, and my husband and I are navigating the next phase of our marriage sans “external influences” (if ya catch my drift). So, for my 40th year I have decided to explore and document all the things I want to better about myself as I head into this next chapter of my life. I want to share in a way that makes others laugh, gives someone hope, and resonates in a way that we all feel connected, as humans should, and especially women who so often feel alone.
Soooo…what will I explore, you ask?
- I’m going to read those books on my shelf with bookmarks half way through (knocked out one so far!)
- I’m going to finish all those projects half completed (one down also. Next up is finishing my son’s Christmas stocking from when he was born. Yup. The one who is nineteen now. I know-horrible, horrible mom fail.)
- My health: Mental, physical, spiritual.
- Find ways to work out that don’t seem like a chore, that fit in my schedule, and are not intimidating.
- Diet-as in an actual diet that consists of the foods I consume, not a fad, and not what I “can’t” eat.
- All. Those. Supplements. Collagen. Mushrooms. Maca. Sacha Inchi. Probiotic. Prebiotic. Vitamin this and vitamin that. I need to put all of what in my smoothie by 7am?!
- Salt Caves + Infrared Saunas (Two of my fave things to already do. But what DO they do?)
- Gua Sha + jade rollers (My esthetician is a skeptic, but the roller feels so good.)
- Lymph drain + dry brushing (Huh? Sounds kind of gross but I’ve got see what all the rage is about.)
- Sound Baths + meditation (Need I say more…)
- Transformational Breathing (Woah. If you haven’t, you have to. It’s, well, transformational.)
- Tapping + neurofeedback (These are the new kids on the block, but I’m intrigued.)
The point of it all is I want to explore ME. I want to learn about myself and have fun doing it. And I want to inspire others to do the same. I dabble in a holistic community so I want to give all these Goop-y modalities a try and see what works for me and share my experience. I also just want to finish a damn book and move it to the finished pile.
Along the way you’ll learn about what and why I am exploring. Some may resonate with you and some may not. And some may make sense at a different point in your life. Like I said, my kids all just graduated high school and I am getting back to my career, myself, and my relationships. Some of you may not have that “luxury” yet, but it doesn’t mean you can’t. I wish I had kept up better self-care. I used to, and then I panicked that I was losing time with my kids. Maybe I was scared of the next chapter. Maybe I didn’t know I needed to let go. Maybe I was carrying guilt.
Now this is the defining moment. If you care to follow, please follow and be kind. Pick up that book, take music lessons, or just call the therapist. As all my peeps are turning 40 over the next two years, I’d love a few partners in this journey. Will you join me?